You guys, it has been a fucking busy spring and summer. I have barely had enough time to breathe, let alone write! But I have been missing it, and all of you wonderful people who follow my adventures. Summer is my very favorite time of the year by far, but man, I do feel like it’s such a crazy, wonderful whirlwind (that needs to slow down!). I’ve been everywhere lately. To the beach with my girlfriends, to watch my brother marry the love of his life, to my friend’s lake house with a bunch of improv friends, to visit my best friend on the apple orchard where she lives with her husband, to a music festival, to visit my parents in the (beautiful) sticks in western NY…. And last night, I visited… wait for it… Baltimore!!
Why would I visit Baltimore, of all places, you ask? Well, if you would believe it, I had not one, but TWO, reasons to make the hour venture north. Number one (and most important in my book): auditions for The Bachelor! As you may or may not know, I am a huge fan of the show. It’ a bit counterintuitive because I rarely watch TV (or even movies these days), and I have never been especially into reality TV. But somehow, right after I moved to DC almost five years ago, I got hooked on the show after watching a couple of episodes with an old roommate, and I have followed it ever since. I actually sent in a full application back in 2013 with a video and everything! I was even asked to audition but had to miss it because I had a huge work event that weekend (Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx came into town for the White House Down press junket – not something I could miss for a reality TV show audition unfortunately). So it has been on my mind to try again ever since, but the last two summers I was dating Rich so couldn’t.
I started talking about my Bachelor aspirations after an improv class a couple of months ago, and found out that Lauren, one of my friends from class, is also a huge fan and even went to an open casting call in Baltimore last year! We made a pact to attend together this year, so last night after work, we journeyed up to Maryland Live! Casino (which was sort of an overstimulating nightmare to walk into) to pursue our dreams of true love and reality show stardom.
I thought with absolutely certainty that the auditions would be packed and we’d be in line for hours and the room would be full of hot girls dressed to the nines. I was SO SURE of it. Nope, I was totally wrong. It was pretty dead actually. I only saw maybe 20 or 30 other people there, and only about half were dressed up. I was tempted to ask where they shop, but I refrained. We arrived, checked in at a table and were given packets to fill out, which included an application and a couple of waivers to sign. The application was six pages long, and included questions such as “do you drink alcoholic beverages?”, “have you ever been married?”, “why would you want to find your spouse on reality TV?” and “what are your hobbies?”
As soon as we were finished filling out the paperwork, our photos (mug shot, waist up and full body) were taken, then we were shuffled into a room to await our interview. This was slightly interrupted by our need to go find cell reception so we could buy Justin Bieber concert tickets, but once we actually came back and sat down in the room, we waited 10 minutes max before we were taken to another room to get in line for our interview. We waited there for maybe 15 minutes, then were shuffled into a room one-by-one with an interviewer and a small camera. I then had a small microphone attached to my dress near my shoulder, was asked to smile at the camera for five full seconds, then asked a series of general questions, mostly just repeating questions on the application packet. My guess is they were just trying to get a sense of camera presence. I was told to me as casual as possible. I have naturally pretty great posture (I’m not bragging – I swear I do!) and my interviewer didn’t seem to appreciate it. She told me to pretend I was at home watching Netflix instead. (Sorry I’m not slouchy enough, especially in a short dress! Hehe). Next, they took a full length photo of me in the corner of the room, and that was it! I thought we’d be there for hours and have to rush to the concert, but it was actually quite casual and quick and we even had time to stop for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory at the casino.
So cross your fingers for Lauren and I, friends! Who knows, maybe we’ll get lucky and find love on the next season of The Bachelor. 😉
Okay, so as you have probably already picked up on, the second reason for the Baltimore trip (which was really just an add-on) was to hit up the Justin Bieber concert! I will be totally honest here – until my former coworker and friend Emily forced me to watch the “Sorry” music video at work one day, I hated the Biebs. I mean yes, I loved “Baby” back in the days of my Glee obsession (which may or may not have had to do with my past life as a nerdy theater/ choir kid) (Sam singing that song – hello! So cute!), but who didn’t?! I thought he was overrated, entitled and an overall bad egg. He might be all of those things actually, but last night, surrounded by 15-year olds (and Lauren), I did find myself anticipating a few songs and wishing the Biebs would take off his shirt (he’s old enough now to not make that statement too weird, I swear).
It was an impressive show. His dancers were amazing, and I found myself wishing he’d do more acoustics (he won me over with Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car”!). I did find it disturbing (as I did in my past job in showbiz) watching how people reacted to him as if he was a god. He could lift an arm and the crowd would go absolutely insane. Mostly, he just walked around the stage with a serious expression on his face, occasionally singing, while his dancers entertained. It sort of seems like he should have to try harder, but nope. The kiddos loved him anyway. Celebrity culture is seriously fucked. But I tried to ignore that fact and just enjoy the energy of the gigantic, ecstatic crowd, the poppy beats and the theatrical elements of the show. In all seriousness, it was an entertaining show and I had a great time getting to know Lauren better in the meantime. In one evening, we road tripped, tried out for a reality TV show, saw one of the most incredible sunsets of my life (which I don’t have a photo of because I was driving), found out we have pretty much the exact same hobbies, had a serious conversation about relationships and past loves and had a sing-a-long at a Justin Bieber concert. These are the kinds of new friendships you hope the universe will toss into your lap.
So yeah, that was my Thursday night. Overall, life is really, really good right now. As always, there have been ups and downs and uncertainties and setbacks, but I can honestly say that I’m mostly happy, and continuing to try and find my way in this big, beautiful world.
Audrey Adventures 