No blog that arose out of a breakup would be complete without the obligatory “maybe I’m ready to date again” post. Over the past week, I felt a definite shift in my energy level and my thinking toward dating and men. Now that I have been focusing on my health and happiness, and finding it to be working for the most part, I find that I have a lot more energy to burn, confidence in myself and I started noticing good looking men everywhere. Which, if you are from DC, you know if a HUGE deal (this city is well-known for being great stomping grounds for single men to pick up girlfriends, because there are so many more young, successful, beautiful women in this city than men. Supposedly, there are about 1.5 times as many single women than men in DC, but that doesn’t take into account the large population of gay men).
I decided that I wanted to meet some of these men! I think I am finally ready to let go of (most of) the anger I have held onto from the Rich breakup, and realize that although relationships are hard and people (women included) can be horrible and disappointing and selfish when it comes to the hearts of other people, maybe it’s time to open my heart again (at least a crack) and explore the possibility that maybe I don’t want to be alone forever. Or maybe I do, but if that’s the case, it might be nice to have some laughs with a few handsome men in the meantime.
I was having a hard time finding these hotties in situations other than my walk to work (and believe me, that is not prime time to be chatting up anyone. Morning Audrey is by far not the best Audrey), so I took some questionable advice from a few friends and got on Tinder. I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t Tinder just for hooking up? Well, I would argue that Tinder has gone way mainstream these days. Tinder seems to be what OKCupid was three years ago, where everyone uses it, whether they’re looking to hookup, date casually or find their next relationship. I even personally know people who met their spouses on Tinder. So, I decided I would go out with the first normal-seeming human who asked me out. I won’t go into too much detail here, but one date in and I officially deleted Tinder. I might be ready to consider the possibility of dating again, but wasting my precious, precious free time to know one minute in (yet get stuck staying for two hours because the other person won’t stop talking long enough for me to say I’m going home) that I’m not attracted or even interested in talking to someone is not on my agenda. Turns out, one of my good friends actually went out with this same guy and quit online dating for three months afterward because of it! I really don’t think online dating is for me. I have heard the real winners are on Hinge, so I’d probably be willing to try another online date for comparison’s sake, but something tells me I’m not going to find my next person via an app.
The wonderful thing about spending the last few months focusing on myself and my happiness is that I have regained the confidence to realize that one bad date doesn’t mean I’ll be alone forever. It means that I can wait until I find a person that I actually want to give up my free time for, if there is such a person. And by the time I find him, I’ll be an even better version of myself, because I plan to keep working on my own health and happiness, without the worry of what someone else will think or what someone else wants. I get to be exactly the me that I want to be, and it’s an incredible feeling. That being said, I don’t think I will ever permanently give up on men. I have been boy-crazy since I was a preteen and now that my heart is on the mend, it is something I have remembered about myself!
Many of you follow me on Instagram (and if you don’t, you should!) so saw a photo of the delicious Spicy Moroccan Chickpea dish that I made last week. I have stuck with my healthy eating and meal prep (though Dessertless January has officially gone by the wayside. I decided after my terrible (sober) date that I at least earned a brownie!). This is a recipe shared with me by my friend and former roommate, Stephanie, and it had actually been years since I made it. Someone at work had a Moroccan dish for lunch at work one day and it reminded me of this dish. It’s healthy, vegan, tasty and I would highly recommend it! Since a couple of people asked me for the recipe, I have posted it below.
Spicy Moroccan Chickpeas:
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 3 cloves garlic
- 2 cup thinly sliced red onions (I just use one big onion)
- 1/2 cup chopped dried apricots
- 1 Tbsp garam masala
- 1 tsp salt
- 3/4 tsp pepper
- 1/4 tsp crushed red pepper
- 1 3 in stick cinnamon
- 1/2 cup water
- 1 1/2 tsp grated lemon rind
- 1 1/2 Tbsp lemon juice 2 cans chick peas, rinsed/drained
- 1 28oz can tomatoes, undrained/chopped
- 6 cups escarole torn into 1 in pieces (I couldn’t find escarole so used kale)
- 1 cup cilantro leaves
- 1/4 cup mint leaves
- 1/2 cup roasted whole almonds, chopped (I was too lazy to chop)
- Quinoa or brown rice to put it on
Cook garlic in oil for one minute. Remove and discard. Add onion and next six ingredients, saute until onion is lightly browned, stirring occasionally. Add next five ingredients, bring to boil. Simmer for seven minutes. Stir in escarole, cook one minute. Remove from heat. Stir in cilantro and mint and top with almonds.
Enjoy, my friends! And if you live along the East Coast, best of luck with the impending blizzard. I, for one, am planning on using this time to relax and bond with my roommates. Feel free to entertain me by telling me about any online dating, or just plain bad dating, stories that you are willing to share!